The Release of New Seduction Tactics
by Rufi
Summary: HPSS SLASH! The release of the newest 'Harry Potter' movie and the final book has gotten Harry excited. In an attempt to coerce Snape into celebrating the new releases, Harry tries a little seduction. This is SLASH, so if you don't like don't look!


Chapter One

THE DAILY PROPHET

The "Harry Potter" Series'

New Releases

The whole of Britain is in an uproar of excitement as the newest "Harry Potter" movie hits the cinema screen, and with the release of the seventh and supposed final book of the series just around the corner, this summer is proving to be a very important event for the entire series, as well as for fans everywhere. But, as you should well know, it isn't simply the muggles who are celebrating. Wizards all over the U.K., not to mention the rest of the world, are cheering as our heroes of the second war against the Dark Lord Voldemort are given their due credit.

Though the actual story has been modified for muggle consumption— seeing as they are still dubiously accepting homosexuals, among other things— the main idea and point remain true to reality. Even though Harry and his friends were simply school children during the war, they were able to defeat Voldemort, with just a little help from the Order of the Phoenix, of course.

All of us Wizards know that Harry Potter wasn't the only hero of the war, but the focus J.K. Rowling— the muggle "fantasy" series' author— has put upon him in the story is beginning to affect our own memories of the war. So I shall say, just in case you truly have forgotten, that every character mentioned in the "Harry Potter" book series was a part of the war; and that all who fought for the side of the light are heroes of the war. Especially those who died for their cause: to save the Wizarding World.

July 11th, 2007

Harry Potter sat the _Daily Prophet_ down beside him on the sofa. The sofa was faced towards the fireplace, in the living room of the modest living quarters that Snape and Harry now called home. Harry smiled to himself as he gazed at the unlit fireplace and the book-laden shelves surrounding it; mulling over the article he had just read.

"Hey, Severus," Harry said, not even bothering to turn round and look at whom he was talking to, "Have you read the _Prophet_ yet?"

Snape— who was in the kitchen, adjacent to the living room, waiting for his water to boil so that he could have a nice cup of tea— sighed.

"No," Snape said irately, "No, Potter; I have not."

"Oh, you should," said Harry nonchalantly; completely un-phased by Snape's tone of voice, "I just finished reading a great article. Second one on the first page; after the article about killer mimes in Paris."

Snape snorted at that— nearly laughing, but not quite— and began pouring some piping hot water into his tea cup. After which, he dropped a bag of Earl Grey into the cup, placed the cup on a saucer, and went to join Harry in the living room to see what all the fuss was about.

As Snape sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, Harry picked up the _Prophet_ and flashed the article his way.

"We should do something, Severus," Harry said brightly, "Go out and see the new 'Harry Potter' movie."

Snape rolled his eyes and took a sip from his cup of tea. "Potter," he said, "I do not wish to see Alan Rickman squeezing into a recreation of my teaching robes and acting in such a way that I seem nice, and kind, and gentle."

"You do not seem nice, kind and gentle," Harry told Snape sardonically.

Snape raised a single eyebrow. "Compared to how I actually am?" asked Snape, the corner of his mouth quirking upward slightly as he smirked.

"Oh," Harry said, smiling at his memories of Snape's cruelty, which had recently proven to be a great benefit for Harry in certain sexual ways. "Well, when compared to you, I suppose he does seem rather nice," said Harry with a laugh, "and kind, and gentle."

With a charming smile on his face, Harry turned towards Snape. "Can't we at least go out and buy the last book?" Harry said as he gazed hopefully up at Snape.

"No, Potter; we will not," Snape replied, "For Hermione is going to go out and buy the book for herself and finish reading it within the first four hours of buying it, and then you will ask to borrow it from her and finish reading it that day." Snape took a sip of his tea, and then continued to say, "At which point I will begin reading the book for a half hour every night after we have had sex and you have passed out."

Harry glared at Snape, but after a moment he grinned widely and began to laugh. "Good!" said Harry, "At least now we've got a plan."

"Naturally, you make me do all the heavy thinking," Snape said dryly as he took another sip of tea.

"Naturally," Harry agreed with a smile, "You are the brains of this operation."

Snape sneered. "And I suppose you are the sex drive?"

Harry snorted and flashed a large grin at Snape before he broke down and laughed. "I do so love it when you mix your surliness with your sense of humor," said Harry, still smiling broadly.

"Ah," Snape said sarcastically, "Well, I love it when you don't act like an idiot."

"That explains the surliness," Harry replied, chuckling softly as he watched Snape finish the last of his tea. "Come here, you surly old man," Harry said before he pulled Snape down for a kiss.

"If you're trying to seduce me, Potter," Snape drawled, "you are failing miserably."

"Nonsense!" Harry laughed, "It's your job to do things miserably. I'm the optimistic person in this relationship." Harry leaned forward, drawing his mouth right up next to Snape's ear, and gave said ear one long, hot lick with his tongue. "When I do things," whispered Harry as he bit on Snape's earlobe, "I do them splendidly."

Snape's breathing had gone slightly ragged and each breath was shorter and shallower than usual but, nevertheless, he spoke insipidly and quite contrarily. "Don't embarrass yourself, Potter," he said, "Your seduction tactics are mediocre at best."

With an annoyed sigh, Harry pushed off of Snape and sat down on the sofa. "Since I'm so poor at it," Harry said in disgruntlement, "Why don't you give it a go."

"Gladly," Snape said with a smirk, and Harry wasn't sure if he felt like grinning like an idiot or pouting— like an idiot.

"Of course," continued Snape with a devious leer, "it won't be nearly as effective unless I withhold sex for a day or two." As Harry's jaw dropped incredulously, Snape thought it best to add, "Or three."


End file.
